Flab to Fab {Ange’s Story}

This week is my turn for hosting a story and Jayme will be sharing apps for aiding your weight loss on her blog!

Today we have the story of Ange, a fellow blogger.  Don’t forget if you want to join Flab to Fab with The Random Blogette & Babe’s Rockin’ Mami we have a private facebook group, facebook page and google+ page!

Now here is Ange’s story, this is the hardest thing she has written so let’s give her respect!

I am one of those girls who like a lot of girls have struggled with my weight for my entire life. I can remember back to when I was in just third grade and a school mate called me a “beached whale” behind my back. The funny thing about that girl was she was no smaller than me, except in third grade I already had B cup boobs. To make things more difficult I have a twin sister; a twin sister who was always a twig. People always compared us, and wondered why I could not be skinny like her.

When I was in high school I was fed up being the “fat twin,” weighing in at 130 pounds, and I decided to do something about it. I took two gym classes, ran after school for softball training, attended an aerobics class after the training, went home and ran on the treadmill even after that. This was a daily thing for me. Though I was shedding some weight it was not enough for me, so I also stopped eating and started abusing my hypothyroidism medicine. Finally it was working, and I went down to a size zero, and began to look like I had a horrible drug problem. I had to wear baggy clothes to hide my boney body from everyone. It did not take long for my mom to catch onto what I was doing, and she put a stop to the madness right before I entered college.

The drastic change made me pack on the pounds. In a course of a year and a half (when I was 20) I went from that size zero to a size 22 (which was even a bit tight on me), and weighed 220 lbs. 20 months after this photo was taken I became pregnant with my oldest biological son. While most people gain weight in their pregnancy I lost weight, getting down to 180 lbs. I was eating like a pig, and rarely exercising. After my son was born I quickly found myself pregnant again, and maintained the same weight through the entire pregnancy.

It was not until the end of my [first] marriage that I begin to shed the pounds. It happened naturally after I started stuffing my face on everything in sight. Through eating I got down to a size 12. I was once again healthy.

Then I met my current (and last) husband. I was able to maintain my weight for a long time until our relationship fell on hard times. I stopped eating and I ballooned back up to a size 16.

After fixing the issues in our relationship I sought help. I went to the doctor to find a solution. The solution I was given was simple; “eat.”

Yes, “eat.” It sounds as if it would be simple enough, but it isn’t. My brain could no t make sense of this, and whenever I ate I felt like people were looking at me thinking “I bet that fat girl eats non-stop.” The people who would say stuff to me would often make snide remarks like “oooh, I that has to be SOOO hard having to eat. “ People would often roll their eyes and just make comments about they wish they had that problem. To all those types of people out there, here is the thing, no matter why I had the weight issue, I did, I was still fat like everyone else.

To this day I am still struggling with following the doctor’s advice. Seeing that I do not eat meat and I have a difficult time forcing myself to eat I rarely can get enough calories in a day, and some weeks I do not even get enough calories that I should have for one day.

I am now back in a size 10, and have a goal of losing 15 lbs. I have stopped beating myself up about how far I have yet to go, and started congratulating myself on how far I have come.

Thank you for sharing Ange, we understand how hard it is to talk about weight open and honestly.  I hope that by sharing this it lost a little bit of it’s hold and power for you.