photo from google, not mine
I knew that my stomach would grow as this baby grew but I also have seemed to be living in a denial land where as long as I didn’t gain weight or in fact lost some, the belly wouldn’t get big.
But it has.
And it will keep doing that because from what I remember…babies just keep getting bigger in there. And I was a BEAST with Nate! Women in my family get huge and have big babies, it’s what we do but when you are in denial you like to imagine that you are a small tiny tall amazon person or freak of nature, when you aren’t haha
So, I have had to work on some more body acceptance lately and acknowledge that I am going to get big and pregnant even if I never gain a pound or if I lose 25. It’s just inevitable. It’s also not been easy and I’ve struggled with some guilt, we tried for so long and so hard to have this baby. It was my #2 reason for starting to go hardcore with exercise so that I could drop weight faster and feel fitter. I’m overjoyed to be pregnant and can’t wait to figure out how to work little Bandito into the scheme of things but…I really wish I could just not get huge! But I am, I already look pregnant most days and I’ve gained a couple pounds. I’m still down from my weight when I found out I was pregnant but I’m mentally preparing my inner Stephanie who is raging at me for this that we might even gain 10 or 15 pounds and that it’s going to be okay. What is most important is a healthy baby and I would never endanger that. Ever.