mmmkay?  Thanks!

I am a mommy.  I am a blogger.  Mommy blogger I am not.

Why you ask?  The extreme negative connotations associated with ‘mommy blogger’, things that don’t describe me.  The blogging world has a very specific idea of what a mommy blogger is.  That because I am a mom and I blog I must be a ‘mommy blogger’ and you know what people?  I can’t stand the stereotypical mommy blogger…Perky, perfect hair and makeup done every day, clothes that are unstained and wrinkle free.  Her children controlled, organized and ready to go.  The classic mommy blogger does not curse, lose her temper or composure.  She is the ‘perfect mom’.  I can not stand being referred to as a mommy blogger.  It is always with ‘that’ tone, you know the one!  If being the perfect mom is your thing…do your thang girl, I’m not hating on any of the mommas that fit what I’m about to describe but it ain’t me so stop saying it is!

The PM would never roll out of bed and pull on the same workout/pajama pants she wore yesterday and throw on a tank or tee and pull her hair up without looking in a mirror.  This mommy does.

The PM would dress and change her bouncy baby into his perfectly matched and pressed outfit and feed him a fantastic breakfast of amazing food she made with her own manicured hands all while wearing her heels and not spilling a drop.  This mommy goes in sees a happy smiling baby, pulls him out of his bed and brings him to her bed to change his diaper (no changing tables here!) and then lets him run around either pantless or in his jammies while she grabs a yogurt and some fruit to give him.  They then pull the highchair up to the couch and he gets fed and messy and sticky.  Quick wipedown and he’s off!

The PM would then probably clean her house top to bottom while following a very planned and learning focused schedule for games (before you freak, schedules and planning are great but not to the minute!).  This mother and son have no schedule generally which I’m sure shocks the people that know us.  Well I lied we get up, eat, play music and dance while I clean, snack, play, nap, lunch, play, snack, play, dinner, bath and bed.  I don’t force him into developmentally appropriate things, I do research my toys but he also has ‘non thinking’ toys.  I don’t make sure he is always focused on learning skills he needs in college.  Playing is kids work and he is learning tons from me, from playing and from the games we play!

The PM would never yell at her one year old in frustration!  Or just tell him to shut it.  Or not get up the second he cries for the tenth time for dropping the same mother effing toy on his own mother effing foot.  This mommy does, it’s happened only a few times but it happens.

The PM would probably stop her kid from eating crayons or leaves or dirt.  This mommy doesn’t stop her son from eating crayons,  running around naked, screetching in happiness, exploring his environment (or his body), tearing the books off the shelf (I am the dumbass that has them where he can get them) or from being a silly toddler. 

He’s 14 months old and still learning.  I do bribe him with the promise of a cookie or treat if he can do whatever he is supposed to do for however long.  Generally he gets a dessert if he eats all of his carrots.  It’s incentive, a goal, not bribery.  If he is screaming in a restaurant or the store (which rarely happens, I can count on one hand) he goes outside with his dad while I do what I do.  If I’m alone I would leave.  This mommy does say no when needed, doesn’t give in to her toddlers every whim, loves her baby, loves her blog and loves to blog about her baby, life, past, whatever suits her fancy.

I AM a woman, artist, baker, crafter.  A smart and loving mother, daughter, wife, aunt and cousin.

I am NOT a mommy blogger.

Are you offended when someone refers to you as a mommy blogger with ‘that’ tone??